Listen to yourself to find motivation and commitment?

You are asking yourself: How to find motivation for plans I’m postponing over and over?
One of the most frequent topics people open in coaching sessions, but something most of us fight on daily basis is postponing some big and important decisions. Here, in this post I’m not going to write about motivation theories of Maslow, Herzberg or Pink. Internet is full of that.

If you stay with me, we can explore together what stops you, and maybe tease you a little bit to move in the direction which is really important to you.

Experience, mine and of others, is that we procrastinate in situations such as writing some thesis, taking some exam, starting some online course, shifting career or finalizing any other “story” we are in for a while.

What is unique about these situations?

• We do not have strict deadline
  We would like to do that some time, but we often say “we HAVE to do it” sometime. And we do not have feeling of urgency. Maybe it is some line from our annualy bucket list we copy from year to year.
• Finalizing that obligation is not a condition for something else
• If we finish that task now, there is no some promising new opportunity right away. Maybe that accomplishment would make us feel proud, but somehow we say to ourself that “we can start tomorrow”.
• Obligations seems huge and too complex 
• WE start learning, reading some materials, creating some concepts, but we quit because it seems enormous – big bite for us in the moment. On the other hand, when we sit and had that bite we see that first step is not so hard at all. We have continuity for some tome, but from some reason we let go and go back to start.

Some my client said: “I set goal which I see as a really big step. That I’m not persistent enough to achieve it and it demotivates me, I feel I fail again and again”.
During our sessions we agreed that she sets very little goals, some activities she could de twice a week, and my commitment was to send some message and check her progress.
Other client said: Motivation is most important, but sometimes we lose it. We have to find something new which inspires us then to stay on track. I use visualisation of results if I achieve that goal. As imagining perfect situation. That moves me.
There are different reasons for delaying and procrastination: sometimes we doubt in ourselves or it becomes hard to commit.
My friend therapist shared her personal situation: I would like I was morhones to myself regarding my obligation. I’m now in the phase when I would like to finish some thesis but there are some things which are interesting too. For example, there is a dilemma: should I go on some excursion or stay and write. And then I negotiate with myself like with three year old child. I do it slowly for short moments in the future, I learn different ways to amuse myself while working and how I can reward myself to work.
Strategy which would help you inspire yourself:
1. Imagine you already achieved your goal. How do you feel? How people around you feel? What is different?
2. What would YOU from the end of that journey say to yourself now?

Here are some potential messages:
– Set some time for work without excuse
– Chop your goal to minimal steps
– Come up with creative ways for “bribing” yourself for work and reward after
– Remind yourself of so many nice things waiting for you when I finish my taskFind some external support, someone who could be your peer on this journey…

For the end – organize 15 more minutes of your time and watch this great TED speech about fighting our Procastination Monsters. 🙂

Watch TED speech